On Anger and Feminism
There has been an ongoing discussion here about anger, and how ‘abrasive’ it is okay to be. I have been following it, but unable to reply to the questions (the rest of the contributors here apparently check their email faster than me). So, I’m going to take some time to respond to something anon said:
What I’m wondering, though, is why you’re so abrasive to people when they are being misogynistic but they don’t realise that they are?
When you are being misogynistic, you are hurting us. You are not just hurting us on a personal, emotional level either; you’re hurting us on a tangible, systematic level by contributing to a culture of misogyny.
On a personal level, that ‘joke’ you think you’re making might be triggering for someone. When you make jokes about rape, or domestic abuse, the women* who hear this and have been raped or abused might have flashbacks or panic attacks. Your joke is causing them psychological damage in a very real way.
On a systemic level, whenever you participate in misogyny, you contribute to its continued existence. You contribute to the culture that allows women to be raped, making it difficult for them to report rape and be taken seriously. You contribute to the mental attitude that these jokes are okay, and any women in the same space as you are likely to feel less safe. In short, you prop up the kyriarchy.
I am going to borrow a phrase from the legal world: Ignorance is no excuse. When you commit misogyny, even though you don’t realize it, you are hurting us. Psychologically and materially, you are hurting us. Now, think about what it is like to be hurting, really hurting. If someone stabbed you with a knife, would you calmly explain why what they did hurt you? Or would you be a bit abrasive? Don’t you think you might expect them to fucking know better than to stab people with knives?
- Anna
* I recognize that women are not the only targets of rape and abuse; however, women are more relevant to the current discussion.
